Marriage Life Savers

(For the next 30 days and hopefully, the rest of your married life)

For The Husband:

1) Give a compliment once a day to your wife.

2) Help her with the household chores.

3) Kiss her at least (minimum) twice a day.

4) Be totally honest with her when discussing anything regarding your personal life or otherwise. Open communication is always the best because it builds trust.

5) Talk about her needs and show compassion.

6) Pray for her and with her at least once a day.

7) Read a daily devotional book to her. (about 3 minutes long)

8) Surprise her (once a month) with a gift or buy her something to brighten her day!

9) Wear cologne and always have a fresh mouth.

10) Treat her like a "queen" because she will flourish and blossom when praised.

Read: Ephesians 5: 25 - 30.  Especially verse # 25 - "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it."

11) Give your wife physical touches when you are around her. (at least 3 or 4 times daily)

Women are turned on by caring touches. Especially when there is no motive (for sex) behind it, except to demonstrate his love for his wife. That's all. A wife will get romantic (more times than not) when she realizes her husband is touching her cause he loves her not just because he wants sex with her. So touch her for no other reason than to let her know you love her. She will respect you for that.
12) Be the man of God that God has designed you to be! Be the leader in your home. Not a dictator, but a loving leader who sets a Christ-like example. Even in conflict times, keep your 'cool' in your temper and demeanor. Always try to stay calm and communicate. If you see her voice rise, then tell her you will talk about this subject at another time when both of you can talk reasonably and in a Christ-like way.
13) PRAY TOGETHER. (even if it's for only 5 minutes)

  1. 14)Go out once a week on a "date" together, preferably without the children. But if they are along, do what

you and your wife want to do - not where or what the kids want on that date.

  1. 15)Remember her birthday & your anniversary. Good idea to celebrate both and make it a day you and

your wife will not forget! Sometimes the best times together are the simple things, not expensive.

16) Be the best provider for her. A woman's number one need is security.  If you don't have a job, go out everyday for a few hours and look and apply and keep at it, until you find one. Use your faith, God is the God of the impossible. Tithe. Give. Forgive. No where your money is going. It's not "her" money - "your" money. It's both of you, together. Not confessing where the money has been spent, will inevitably cause friction, distrust and marital negative issues that could be explosive for both spouses.

For The Wife:

1) A man's number one need is to be respected. Respect your husband. Ask God to show you something about his character that you do respect, even though you may have a list of things that have disappointed you - don't concentrate on the negative ones.

2) Compliment your husband at least once a day!

3) DON'T NAG HIM ! Men hate to be nagged. The more you praise a man, (most of the time this works) the more he will want to live up to your compliments and expectations. Men are charged by respect and praise.

4) The number two need in a man's life is sex. For the next 30 days, have sex with your husband at least once a week. This may seem 'mechanical' to you at first, but don't look at it that way, look at it like you are keeping your husband from looking at other women and porno as well. Men have a sexual needs often more than women do. Remember that. If the man IS touching and loving his wife (without always doing it for sex),then the wife will eventually, naturally want to give herself sexually to her husband.  Sex has always been meant for the marriage bed and no where else. The world has perverted this subject. Sex with your husband is what God has designed as a vital part of your marriage. Marriage is not just friendship, it's vital that a man and wife are intimate sexually with one another.  It releases something in the natural, as well as in the spirit that brings honor to God. God created sex for the marriage  bed. Hebrews 13:3 - "Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."

5) Don't wear flannel or long covered-up p.j.'s to bed every night. Let your husband see you in a sexy outfit....not just to have sex -but for him to enjoy looking at you! Husbands get a thrill out of seeing their wives look attractive and 'sexy' for them around their house (or bedroom)...even if it's not for sex that day or night. Dress (of course) very modest and appropriate in public, but this is in the confines of your own home, where only your husband will gaze upon you. Men are moved by sight. Women are moved by touch!

6) Don't be a complainer. Be positive. Encourage your husband. Men flourish when they are encouraged and once again, respected. The more you nag, the farther away he will seem to you emotionally.
7) Never dump your issues (of that day) upon your husband when he first comes home from work. He needs to unwind first. Wait at least 15-20 minutes and let him discuss his day first.
8) Don't hog your family and leave his out in an unproportional way. He will notice it, even if he never says a word to you. Men have families too. It's not 99% her family and 1 % (holidays) his. Show him you love his family & care about them, too! Even if they are not believers in Jesus. That will minister to your husband and cause him to respect you more, spiritually, too.
9) Don't criticize him in front of others, including your children. Your children will lose respect for their dad (or stepdad, whatever the case may be), if the children hear you slamming their dad's character. If you have an 'ought' with your husband, approach him alone or with a counselor, who can help. Make sure you and your husband are in control of your emotions. If voices start getting loud, etc., it's a good indication to stop talking and come back later when the emotions are not so negative.
10) Never give the silent treatment to your husband. Never go to bed angry! Never sleep in separate bedrooms. Never scream, yell, slam doors or cuss. This kind of behavior is not Christ-like. The children will grow up seeing this and Unfortunately, it may affect their marriage or relationships with others. Some of this could be manipulation and control. It's not Biblical. It won't work as far as helping the marriage better. It will only make the marriage worse! Remember: LOVE IS THE GREATEST! If you have issues that seems unsurmountable - again, go to a counselor or your pastor.
11) Surprise your husband with a sweet note left under his pillow or near his plate of food.
12) Keep the house clean. Men (most of the time) hate a dirty home. They take pride and happiness in coming home to a clean house. Make your home a refuge for him....of course, he needs to help around the house and keep up with the necessary 'fix-it' type of things, as well as the helping you keep it clean. But you be one to make it a godly home in the atmosphere you create by your Christ-like love and caring spirit.  Men WILL flourish when they feel "safe" that they are not being nagged, etc. but accepted and respected.

13) Don't name call your husband. Remember to "call those things that are not, as though they were" (Ro. 4:17). Whether it's to his face or not. We ALL are a work in progress. 
14) Read: Ephesians 5: 22-24 and Proverbs chapter 31 often.
15) Smell nice around your husband.
16) DON'T put your looks down (how you appear in your personality on the inside and how you appear physically on the outside), to your husband. He picked you out among all the other women in the world. Don't put thoughts in his head that he picked an ugly wife! It's not true! The devil IS a liar!
17) Be happy around your husband as much as possible. If you are having a struggling day, share it with him so he can pray for you and encourage you. Tell him you need encouragement if you need to. Sometimes men are not as perceptive as women, as smart as they are. Men have (most of the time) 'tunnel' vision, not so with women!  : ) They don't do it on purpose. It's just the way they are. They focus their entire attention on one thing and then move on to the next.
18) Don't put your husband down, spiritually. It could cause him to withdraw from being the spiritual leader in your home. ENCOURAGE him and let him know you believe he is the spiritual leader in your home...even if he is not where he needs to be. Any little break- through you see from him, spiritually, praise him for it and let him know you are counting on him to help you both through your life and walk with God together. Of course, you both will have alone times with God. You should. But don't make him feel inferior to what you may already know spiritually. Be humble and let him grow in God at his own pace. With your faith and patience, you will eventually see your husband the way you desire him to be. Don't give up! Encourage him. Nagging gets one nowhere.
19) Don't always put the children before your husband. The children will someday leave home (at least most kids do), and then you will be left with just you and your husband. Remember that. Start planning NOW, your precious time with him and letting him know he is the "king" of the house. Yes - even above the children's desires a lot of the times. We are not talking about dictator husbands here. O.K? But a loving, caring, spiritual man of God.
20) Your character and forgiving heart, as well as your loving attitude will enhance and increase the desire for your husband to be more communicative with you. Often men don't communicate with wives because they do not feel "safe". They may fear failure, resentment, unreasonable questioning and teasing. Possible embarrassment from the wife. Make your husband feel very "safe and secure" around you. DON'T JUDGE HIM HARSHLY but just be a good listener with Christ's compassion, and he will eventually desire to communicate more with you. Keep what words he tells you confidential if it is meant to be that way. Don't break his trust.
CLOSING: This is for both of you, man and wife - Read I Corinthians chapter 13 at least once a month, either separately or together and practice it with each other. Living it out in God's love. It's better to hold your tongue, than to blurt out something harsh and cruel that could hurt either spouse. Words are hard to take back, once they have been released.
Be sure to FORGIVE each other if hurts have been made to either or both spouses. Forgive. Forget. Love.  Love is the ONLY thing that really counts. It's not one-sided here. BOTH OF YOU HAVE TO ADMIT YOU ARE WRONG SOME OF THE TIME AND FORGIVE AND FORGET THE HURTS ONCE YOU HAVE APOLOGIZED. Never have one spouse do all the apologizing. Something is wrong with this picture, if that is the case. PRIDE! Don't let pride be the stumbling block to your marital success and happiness! Get real  with each other and let God do the rest!
"Dear Father, please forgive us in this marriage. We are sorry we have hurt one another. We ask for your forgiveness and love to start all over again. Please make this marriage new. We are both in agreement with the above statements and plans You have for our lives. From this day on, we will keep our vows and be true to one another. We will forgive and forget the deep wounds and hurts each of us has caused to our spouse. We love You, most of all. We want this marriage to work. We thank You for being the Center of our marriage. We thank You for giving us Your love and patience. This marriage WILL work. Satan, I bind you. You have no authority in this marriage to dissolve it. Our marriage is from God and will last as long as we live on this earth. I apply the blood of Jesus over this marriage and break every generational curse, vex, or other demonic influences to steal, kill and destroy this marriage. Thank You, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, for doing a miracle in our marriage. (Matt. 19:26)
AMEN ! ! !

Welcome to The Revival Church website, located in both Mattoon, IL and Lovington, IL